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Biker Wit & Wisdoms

The biker community, like many other groups, has its own jargon, wit, and words of wisdom. Here we have compiled a list of over 100 Biker Wits and Wisdoms from various sources on the Internet. We have organized them into five categories: Our Favorites, The Biker Lifestyle, On the Road, In the Garage, and About Older Bikers. Enjoy!

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Our Favorites

  • Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul.
  • To ride are not to ride? What a stupid question!
  • Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
  • Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
  • A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.
  • It's all about the journey, not the destination.
  • If you can't get it going with bungee cords and electrician's tape, it's serious.
  • You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.
  • You don't stop riding because you're getting old, but you get old when you stop riding.
  • Young riders pick a destination and go, old riders pick a direction and go.

The Biker Lifestyle

  • Many of us are irritable most of the time (unless were in love or just bought a motorcycle). (Carolyn See)
  • Yes, it's fast. No, you can't ride it.
  • Chrome don't get you home.
  • Above ground, and on a motorcycle. Life is good!!
  • Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul.
  • Bikers and veterans go hand-in-hand and I can assure you that we will never forget. That rumbling sound you hear when a group of bikes come together is not noise sir, it is the harmony of brotherhood coming together for a purpose and cause. (Krista Baker)
  • You never see a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrist's office.
  • People are more violently opposed to fur then leather because it's safer to harass rich woman then motorcycle gangs.
  • There are two types of people in the world: people who ride motorcycles and people who wished they could ride motorcycles.
  • Keep the paint up and the rubber down.
  • Bikers have more fun than people.
  • You start the game with a full pot of luck and an empty pot of experience. The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck.
  • Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.
  • People are like motorcycles, each is customized a bit differently.
  • Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to ride in the rain!
  • Never mistake horsepower for staying power.
  • Better to wear out then rust away.
  • There is nothing more obscene (ugly) than a new bike on a trailer.
  • A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.
  • Pie and coffee are as important as petrol.
  • Never argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.
  • I'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about God then sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle.
  • Ride as if your life depended on it!
  • May all your encounters with the law begin with the words, nice motorcycle.
  • It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
  • Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.
  • To ride are not to ride? What a stupid question!
  • Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.
  • Live to ride. Ride to live.
  • If you don't ride, then you don't know.
  • Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
  • If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
  • Work to ride and ride to work.
  • If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind, follow her.
  • You can forget what you do for living when your knees are in the breeze.
  • No matter what marquee you ride, it's all the same wind.
  • Riding a motorcycle is like playing chess. Anyone can learn the moves, but it takes a lifetime to master the game.
  • Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
  • I want to leave this world the same way I came into it, screaming and covered in blood.
  • Life is too short for traffic. (Dan Bellack)
  • A biker can smell a party 5000 miles away.
  • You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
  • Just another day in Paradise!
  • There are two roads in life, the twisty one is vastly more fun.

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On the Road

  • If you don't have bugs in your teeth, you haven't been grinning enough!
  • Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
  • If you're going to lead, then lead. If you're going to follow, get the hell out of my way!
  • The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
  • Always back your bike into the curb and sit where you can see it.
  • When you look down the road, it seems to never end but you better believe it does.
  • If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in a ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
  • Don't lead the pack unless you know where you're going.
  • Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they can hold everything you need.
  • Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
  • A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.
  • Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.
  • If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be.
  • If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
  • Sweat wipes off. Road rash doesn't.
  • Never be afraid to slow down.
  • A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.
  • Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
  • Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 70mph can double your vocabulary.
  • When you're riding lead, don't spit.
  • The twisties, not the superslabs, separate the riders from the squids.
  • If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.
  • Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.
  • There are those who have crashed and there are those who will crash.
  • Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
  • Kansas: home of the highway with 318 miles and 11 curves.
  • The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
  • A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.
  • Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
  • Two Lane blacktop isn't a highway, it's an attitude.
  • Well trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
  • If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least five cars ahead.
  • It's all about the journey, not the destination.
  • Asphalt, the world's fastest tattoo remover.
  • If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
  • The slower you go, the longer it lasts.

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In the Garage

  • Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking.
  • Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
  • Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle.
  • A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.
  • Always replace the cheapest parts first.
  • Practice wrenching on your own bike.
  • Winter is nature's way of telling you to polish.
  • Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.
  • If you can't get it going with bungee cords and electrician's tape, it's serious.
  • Two bikes are useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.
  • Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
  • Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
  • Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down.
  • You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.
  • If the bike isn't breaking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
  • A friend is someone who will get out of bed at 2 AM to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.

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About Older Bikers

  • Learning to ride at 41 is better than never learning to ride at all!
  • You don't stop riding because you're getting old, but you get old when you stop riding.
  • There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are no old, drunk riders.
  • Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck.
  • You know you've hit middle-age when you're told to slow down - by your doctor, not a policeman.
  • Young riders pick a destination and go, old riders pick a direction and go.
  • Don't mess with old bikers. They don't just look crazy.
  • As I get older and more fragile, my bikes get bigger, heavier, and more powerful.
  • Never try to race an old geezer, he may have one more gear then you.

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